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- Being a military wife has just as many challenges as it has benefits - even for a reservist wife.
Benefits:
- Being a part of a community that knows how to support each other and stick together. You will not find a more understanding, strong, and emotionally in touch group of individuals than a military spouse.
- Emotionally in touch meaning we know what ones we do and do not want to share with the world and realize that, sometimes, emotions are not worth the time and energy it takes to display them.
- The benefits to your spouse. There is nothing like hearing the pride and joy in your husbands voice as he finds that he was one of eight - out of all US Navy reservists in his rating - to be promoted. This is the good kind of pride, the kind that makes all your effort worth while, the kind of pride that makes you want to be even better. Better for your God, better for yourself, for your family, for your country and fellow servicemen.
- TriCare insurance - 'nuff said.
Challenges:
- Being apart - a lot - and having civilians trying to relate. Don't get me wrong, I understand that having your loved ones away for long periods of time is challenging. Please, do us all a favor and don't treat your traveling spouse as the equivalent to ours. You don't want to mess with us. We don't want to put up with you. So your husband is away on business often? - cute. Our spouses have sworn to give up their lives, if necessary, and are at constant risk of being placed in a situation to make good on that promise. It is not the same as a traveling spouse, thanks for trying to sympathize, now stop it.
- Everyday I pray that my husband will attach to a non-deployable unit. Every day I pray that we will stop nosing in on other countries business and only give aid when requested. Every day I pray that our enlisted and veterans would get the honor and respect due them.Every day I pray for peace and that everyone would stop worrying so much about oil, gun control, etc., etc. and start worrying about the lives that we place on the line for them. While I dread the day my children and I kiss our valiant protector good bye for that 6-12 month deployment, I am also aware of what never being deployed could mean for my husband. He joined to serve and protect, not for the "monetary benefits" (which, let's face it, don't exist). Should he go his entire career avoiding deployment, at some point, that decision will weigh heavily upon his heart. He would have served his country, with all his heart and talents, but it's just not the same. So, I don't want him to go, but I don't want him to stay either. The great part? Neither of us get to make that decision. We will take what is thrown at us and run with it. Thus is military life.
- An ever changing schedule. Never count on anything staying the same for very long. By the time you think you've got your year figured out, something will change and "CF" it all to pieces.
I could go on, but I really want to get to my funny stories.
2. Airlines - No other industry could run so rudely, unscheduled, and non apologetic without being put under.
My husband was going through the process of checking his bag and, once everything had been taken care of, the woman behind the counter promptly grabbed and threw it onto the belt, his bag landing upside down. The couple next to us, with very expensive luggage, were treated the same way. You could literally feel the thud in the floor as their bags landed. This disgusts me. Do these people never travel themselves? What if there were breakables in those bags? Why can't they take the extra two steps to place the bags on the belt in a respectful manner?
This was Barretts first time seeing his daddy off at the airport. Well, technically his second but, this was the first time we went in to wait for his flight with him. Being the sentimental fool that I am, I was excited to get his security pass to keep for memories.
Ben handed the TSA agent our IDs and passes. The guy looked at us as if were were criminals, handed Ben our IDs and his boarding pass then tore up and threw away Barretts. We walked through the gate and turning to Ben I said, "who pissed in his cheerios? I wanted that!"
A positive note here: We were treated like royalty at security. I didn't even have to take my shoes off! The woman waved us through without any hassle. That was nice. She is nice. I like her. She should give nice lessons to the jerk that tore up my sons first pass.
Our routine when Ben travels is that we grab a coffee and sit and talk while we wait for boarding. I rarely have any complaints about anyone who hands me coffee, today was no different. The shop was full of women swooning over my son, commenting about how sweet he is, how cute he looks and the funny sounds he was making. Being the proud parents that we are, we soaked up all the complements, said our "thank yous" and our "have a nice day's" and headed over to the gate.
We picked our seats and made ourselves as comfortable as possible, right in front of the screen listing delays, weather, random advertisements... "Wasn't your flight supposed to take off at 10:20?" I asked, "yeah, it's already delayed an hour", was Ben's reply. Yay.
Don't get me wrong, I understand delays for safety reasons and weather concerns. I understand that pilots are people that can run late to work and that sometimes things just take longer than they should. I get it. We're all human.
We watched as the estimated take off time bounced around. "Flight #5387 will now be departing at 11:45" Five minutes later "Flight #5387 will now be departing at 11:20" Five minutes later "Flight #5387 will now be departing at 11:40"...
What the??? How does this happen? There was no way to adjust for his connecting flight - which, of course, would end up being delayed by two hours anyways.
No other means of transportation runs this inefficiently and inadequately. I feel that the airline industry should offer some sort of compensation for running so late and scattered. Any other business would.
Airport drama is nothing new for us. While Ben was in TX I traveled down to visit. My flight and connecting flight there went beautifully. Trying to get home... the exact opposite. Not only was my original flight canceled, they didn't have another flight for me for another two days. Why was my flight canceled? The first time was due to weather - understandable. The second time was because there was grass on the runway. I kid you not. The third time was because there was a bird stuck in one of the engines. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.
They did not offer to pay for my extra hotel expenses, nor did they offer transportation to a hotel. I was simply told that I would have to return two days later for the 1:00 flight out. Ben did not have those two days off and, would not be able to see me off two days later. I hadn't seen him in months. I did not have a car. I did not have a hotel room. Fortunately I was given a ride, by another person waiting on a flight, to a hotel where I could stay.
I returned two days later and, as I approached the desk, I noticed the whiteboard behind the counter stating that all flights for the day had been canceled (this was after my $10 cab fee to get there). In a not so polite way, I slapped my hands on the counter and said "please tell me you never updated the board from two days ago" the attendant looked at me and said "all flights out for the day have been canceled. We will drive you to Dallas so hopefully you can make your connecting flight".
Great.
The man driving me should not have been given a drivers license. I feared for my life more than once on the three hour car ride. After arriving in Dallas, checking my bag, and finding my gate, I scanned the schedules to see how my flight was doing - delayed two hours. Great. Finding an outlet to charge my phone was like a treasure hunt. Why are there not more charging stations in airports? I sat, on the floor, for two hours, staring at the schedules. Oh, you have got to be kidding me, my flight is now delayed three more hours. By the time it was all said and done, I was on the red eye back to CMH, arriving at 2:00am in place of my original 6:00pm flight (two days before mind you).
Why do we allow the airline industry to get away with this? They are rude, disrespectful, inefficient and expensive. How do they still function like this?
3. Amish Buggy's
I could care less about how people chose to live. What I do care about is an Amish buggy traveling 5mph on a 65mph road with hills and curves. There have been multiple accidents in the area where I live, all because someone - traveling the speed limit and being responsible - crested a hill only to find themselves inside an Amish buggy. This is something I feel should be illegal. Most sects are allowed to travel in vehicles as long as they are not operating them. I feel very strongly that they should not be allowed to travel by buggy on any road with a speed limit over 35mph, for their safety as well as the safety of those of us in the vehicles.
4. MILF "Mother I'd Like to... you know"
How disgusting, rude, disrespectful, and unsettling is this phrase. I do not take this as a complement and, you better believe, if I wasn't holding my child, you'd be tasting my fist. Where have manners gone? Why are we viewing this as an acceptable thing for someone to say? News flash! This is sexual harassment.
I am deeply concerned for what we pass off as acceptable.
OK, now for my funny stories.
While I don't consider myself to have been sheltered while growing up there were definitely things that I had never heard of, Ash Wednesday being one of them.
I will never forget the day I learned about what Ash Wednesday is. I was prepping for class in the communal bathroom of my dorm, freshman year of college, and was just getting ready to head out the door when I noticed one of my floor mates with something smeared across her forehead.
"Christina, I think you have some ink or something smeared on your forehead"
- I thought I was being nice, you know, like letting someone know they have lettuce stuck between their teeth -
"Uh, it's Ash Wednesday" she said, looking at me like I was some sort of judgemental prick. "Oh, OK, I'm sorry" I replied, as she walked past me.
We ended up becoming friends later.
I decided to take a figure skating class my sophomore year. I had physical education requirements to fill and thought it sounded like fun. The classroom listed on my syllabus simply said "C2". Walking into the ice arena building there were only two rinks, neither of which were named. There didn't seem to be anyone else looking for their class but there were a couple guys over by the concessions stand, so I decided to see if they knew where I was supposed to go.
I had never been in this building before and hadn't taken the time to really look around. The middle of the room was sunk into the floor for extra seating, tables, etc. I did not know this... yet.
"excuse me" I said to one of the less intimidating looking guys, starting to realize that they were all at least 6ft tall, dressed similarly and in decent looking shape "I am looking for the figure skating class, is that why you're here?"
A huge smile spread across his face as he said "No ma'am. We're the hockey team" There must have been 20 guys sitting in that sunken section of the room, all standing now, looking at me grinning.
I could feel how red my face was getting as he continued "we'd love to have you on the team. Coach is in that practice rink. Why don't you go ask him about a spot".
As he was talking I noticed a small group of students entering the other rink.
Thank God, that must be the class!
"Thanks but I'll pass" I said as I rushed over to the other side of the room and hurriedly pushed through the doors to escape my misery.
Every once in a while I would run into a member of the team, who would throw me that "you were so cute thinking we were here for a figure skating class" smile. I would just smile back.
Oh, the things books cannot teach us.
"More important than talent, strengh, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your dreams" - Amy Grant
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